[ Exercise 2 ]

  1. Their work further extended this concept to include the conventional approach. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Putting the sentence in active voice not only saves space and makes the sentence more direct, but also places the most important noun at the front of the sentence.
  2. Smith simply modified these notions to determine the constructs. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Again, making nouns into verbs is an easy way of simplifying a sentence.
  3. This work develops a simple procedure to determine the optimum conditions for the nominal-the-best robust design problems. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Like the original sentence, many writers add unnecessary prefaces in front of the subject. Doing so tends to push the subject away from the front of the sentence and makes it more difficult for the reader to identify. However, in the revised sentence, the subject is placed in front of the sentence by making an unnecessary noun ("determination") into a verb.
  4. Flexible manufacturing systems continuously change in a dynamic environment. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Instead of hiding a verb inside/within a noun, the revised sentence is simplified and continuously change expresses a more direct action than occurs.
  5. Those factors significantly affect the signal-to-noise (SN) ratio. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Omitting "have" makes the action in the sentence clearer.
  6. Leon, Shoemaker and Kacker (1987) justified using the SN ratio and explained why Taguchi's two-step procedure would minimize average loss. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Turning nouns into verbs makes this sentence less wordy and more direct.
  7. The maximum quality loss seems to dominate the optimal factor/level combination. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Avoiding the sentence opener of "It" and changing from passive to active voice greatly simplifies this sentence.
  8. The two methods slightly differ in speed. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    Avoiding "There is" sentence openers not only makes this sentence more direct by putting the subject towards the front of the sentence, but also makes the sentence less wordy. The sentence can be further simplified by watching out for wordy phrases ("in" instead of "in terms of").
  9. AB is undoubtedly a more stable operating system than CD so the user can make predictions of market trends. [ more >>> ]

    EDITOR'S NOTE
    As the above revision demonstrates, omitting wordy phrases and expressing the same meaning more concisely can greatly simplify a sentence. As mentioned earlier, putting two words together that have the same meaning is another form of redundancy. Redundancy in this sentence is omitted by simply saying "predictions" instead of "future predictions".
  10. Organizational goals must be clarified when the company can enter the global market soon. [ more >>> ]